The Power of Problems

man leaping over rocks

Ep. 96 Does your life consist of solving one problem after another? Do you ever feel that if you could get all of your problems solved once and for all, then you could finally be happy? Listen to learn WHY problems are good and WHY the goal isn’t to not have problems. The goal is to have higher quality problems. 

Mind Full Vs. Mindful

Woman with relaxed expression

Ep. 95  Maleah shares 3 simple tools to help clear the mental clutter in order to be less Mind Full and more Mindful. Listen to learn how to feel better now by emptying your mental trash. 

SHOW NOTES:

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3 Ways to Use Comparison for Good

Maleah Warner and Renee Vidor

Ep. 92 Maleah and special guest Renee Vidor talk about how to use comparison as a way to find ideas and inspiration in order to develop confidence rather than competition. If comparing yourself to others makes you feel lousy, this episode will teach you the WIN system to use comparison for your good.

3 Ways to Manage the Failure Paradox

Ep. 91 Have you ever found yourself in a No-Win Pickle? This is the term I use to describe a situation where no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, despite  your good intentions you cannot win. I found myself in a No-Win Pickle after my 4th baby was born. Today I’m sharing that story along with 3 tools for managing this Failure Paradox.

WHAT is the Failure Paradox?

A more official-sounding term for the No-Win Pickle is The Failure Paradox. My 4th son was born in the early morning hours on the day of my oldest son’s kindergarten graduation. But that wasn’t a problem. I slept a few hours, got up and showered and put on makeup and shoes ready to go. Danny’s school was a few blocks from the hospital and I figured the kind nurses wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on baby Jack while I dashed out for an hour to catch the graduation and return in time for Jack’s next feeding. Obviously, my postpartum mind wasn’t considering that hospitals have policies about new mothers leaving (child abandonment) and returning (germ exposure). I was simply trying to multitask and fit everything onto my calendar. 

When the nurse raised her eyebrows at me, I realized that I would be missing Danny’s big event. And he only graduates from kindergarten once in his whole life! Because of taking care of one child, I was neglecting the other. I should have timed Danny’s birth better. I felt like a total failure as a mother.

This was my first big experience with the No-Win Pickle, which I’ve encountered dozens of times since. Basically, the No-Win Pickle is when, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to succeed at everything. I hate that it is impossible for me to succeed at everything in mothering.  I hate that I have to make impossible decisions which sometimes require choosing one child over another, or choosing myself over my children, or choosing none of us. To be a “good mother” equally for all. To never choose one over the other. 

The Failure Paradox

Paradox: a statement or proposition that, despite sound (or apparently sound) reasoning from acceptable premises, leads to a conclusion that seems senseless, logically unacceptable, or self-contradictory.

The Failure Paradox: In our failure, we rise to higher levels.

WHY is Failure an Inherent Part of the Human Experience?

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3 Ways to Manage the Failure Paradox

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Keep it LIGHT: 3 Ways to Lighten Your Mental Load

Girl running in field with balloons

Ep. 89 The goal of today’s episode is to infuse you with LIGHT by offering 3 simple ways to access the power of “light” to lighten your mental load. Light has multiple connotations. Light is brightness and illumination. Light is carefree, not heavy. And light is also funny and cheerful. These are all things we need when life feels heavy. Tune in to hear HOW to Keep it Light. 

Abortion: Law, Empathy, and Agency

Abortion Law Empathy Agency

Ep. 88 If you ask whether I am pro-life or pro-choice I answer Yes and Yes. Why does society make you feel like you have to be one or the other? Personally I am pro-life. Empathetically, I am pro-choice. I believe a woman’s choice about the creation of life through pregnancy and childbirth is between her and God and not between her and government. The burden of illegal abortion is carried by low-income, low-educated women who don’t have access to support or resources. 

Politics & Abortion: Why I Don’t Vote Based On Abortion

Woman walking different paths

Ep. 87 Join Maleah today as she discusses why she doesn’t vote based on the issue of abortion and why it’s important for religious voters to consider more issues than only abortion when making their final vote. 

My Answer When People Ask Why I Don’t Vote Based on Abortion

The topic of today’s podcast episode is personal and possibly controversial. I’ve worked on it for two weeks. I’ve talked myself out of recording it multiple times. I’ve tried to record different “safe” topics. But for whatever reason, I could not move forward until I finally finished this episode.

Why Abortion is Not the Deciding Factor of My Vote

I believe that parties and candidates have politicized the abortion issue and use it to control voters emotions and actions.

In short: Before the 1980’s, Pro-life and Pro-choice did not belong to either Democrats or Republicans. Supporters of each side were distributed in both parties. In 1979, political strategist Paul Weyrich was stewing about how to get his Republican party to win elections. He found an untapped gold mine in Evangelicals who made up 29% of the population, but largely did not vote. With neither political affiliation, nor party loyalty, this huge section of voters was “up for grabs.” In order to light a fire under this non-voting and extremely religious segment of the population, they needed an issue that would be highly religious, highly moral, and highly emotional. One social issue fit the bill perfectly: abortion.

Why it Matters

Without permission from Pro-lifers and religious voters in the Democratic party, the political strategists hijacked Pro-life as a Republican issue, and thus the Republican party became not only the Pro-life party, but is also largely viewed as the “Religious” party.

It’s an ingenious political strategy because it causes religious voters to feel that if they are going to be “worthy” religiously, then they must vote Republican regardless of the Republican candidate’s qualifications or stance on ANY other issues.

This strategy pulls other potent strings by influencing religious voters to view friends, family, and members of their own congregations as “sinners” or “wicked” if they don’t vote for the Republican candidate always and forever, no matter who the candidate is, thus creating the perfect voter manipulation.

The Social Impact

Essentially, any candidate can now control what has come to be known as “the Religious Right” simply by professing to be Pro-life. I think this is terrifying because no matter what else that candidate stands for, the religious right is bound to his election based on the issue of abortion alone.

Unless we aren’t.

What I Do

1. I don’t vote party. I vote (as my parents raised me) to vote candidate. My voting record would reveal circles darkened on both sides of ballots.

2. I remind myself of the importance of having the voice and work of religious voters active in BOTH parties.

3. I ask myself “Is this candidate genuinely Pro-life, or has this candidate conveniently become Pro-life to win an election.

4. When I see an abortion ad or hear a speech that triggers my emotions, I ask if the candidate/party is using graphic rhetoric in attempts to manipulate my tender feelings as a woman, mother, and lover of babies. I remind myself that I am most powerful when I choose my own thoughts and emotions and act according to the dictates of my own conscience rather than permitting my emotions to be hijacked for someone else’s agenda.

5. I ask myself this question: If this candidate is genuinelly Pro-life, will the candidate influence legislation that is consitutional, legal, safe and protective of the human rights of all voters (especially women on the abortion issue) regardless of their religious affiliation.

6. I remind myself that if I were hiring someone to work for me, I would vet them on NUMEROUS qualifications, not just their stance on one issue.

Right vs. Right

Athletes wear masks, kneel or stand for national anthem

Ep. 86 What if we stop trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong and we realize that we can both be right?

Today’s episode explores why our brains are hard-wired to label all things as good or bad, safe or dangerous, right or wrong. Hint: It’s the brain’s primitive survival instinct, but it no longer serves us in our complexly social world where no longer die from saber-toothed tiger attacks. This primal belief of “you bad, me good” cause a lot of of modern-day social destruction.

Click to listen to how we can help our brains relax and realize that not everything is right versus wrong. A lot of things are right and right. 

Lies of the Magpie 42 & 43

Woman Read Lies of the Magpie

Ep. 85 In the previous chapter, Maleah discovered who Laiah is and finally understood what was making her sick. Now, she has to figure out how to get well. She brings Aaron to her next doctor’s appointment to do the hardest thing she knows she has to do: accept a prescription for an antidepressant. 

Lies of the Magpie Ch 40 & 41

women read on bench

Ep.84 Listen to the pinnacle chapter of Lies of the Magpie. Maleah’s struggles and months of searching for how to heal her body finally come together in an unexpected way. Did you predict this twist?