Ep. 7 Permission to PLAY

Permission to Play

Permission to PLAY

Anyone who knew me back when is probably laughing at the idea of me doing a podcast episode about play. That is okay! I hope you have a really good laugh on my account. Over the years I have learned the hard way that all work and no play make Maleah a real bore. I’ve also discovered play as a powerful way to energize and elevate my life. 

Why is PLAY a Power Principle?

Evolutionary biologists believe that play is an important key to survival. Species that don’t play don’t survive. Play is essential to survive, AND to thrive. Question: How I play? A documentary called The Power of Play (airing Jan 20, 2019) explores the science of play research. Research by California psychologist Stuart Brown, has shown that playing freely as a child is key to being mentally healthy as an adult.

Play is powerful because it allows for low-pressure exploration, discovery, and risk-taking. 

When was the last time you played? What did you do? 

Distraction is Not PLAY

Play is not the same as distraction.

Distractions are the things we do to avoid doing the things we have to do. Distractions are easy defaults like browsing social media, playing that game on the phone, mindlessly surfing the television channels. These things use time, but they don’t necessarily recharge or energize us the way that true play can. 

Play is not a waste of time. Play is more than merely goofing around. Play is the way we explore new skills without the pressure of performing or being judged . Through play we tap into creativity and build social connections. 

1. Permission to PLAY First

I used to believe that I had to have all my work done before I could play. I carried that belief into my work as a full-time mother. But for moms, work is never done! As a result, I never allowed myself to play and my life became cumbersome and dark. Part of my healing through Postpartum Depression and chronic illness was learning to prioritize play.

I learned to trick my brain and tell myself that I needed to get my play done before I could work. Doing this, I found that I had more energy and had time to be playful and get a lot of work done. 

2. Permission to Get Work Done Quickly so I can PLAY

Another way I trick my brain is to find ways to get work done quickly so that I have time to play. It’s when I’m doing the less exciting chores of paying bills, calling the insurance company, or cleaning the kitchen that I get distracted and end up wasting time surfing the web or browsing FaceBook on things things that don’t really matter to me. Instead, if I set a time to get necessary tasks done quickly and reward myself with play, then I am actually more productive and feel more relaxed at the end of the day.

3. Permission to Find Your FUN

 I’m guessing you could easily tell me ten things on your To-Do List today. And I’ll also guess these are “work” items. It’s hard to be motivated to get work done if you don’t know what you like to do for fun. What are 10 things you can give yourself permission to do that feel playful

When we default to browsing social media or playing that online game, it’s usually because we haven’t decided what we’d rather do instead. Somehow along our journey to adulthood, we lost our sense of play until we no longer know how to play. Give yourself permission to discover your play. Plan to PLAY

4. Permission to Turn Work into PLAY

What is the difference between work and play? For an NBA player, are basketball workouts and games work or play? Or when I write for ten hours straight, is that work or play? The bottom line is that it depends on mindset. And any task can be made easier by making it more playful. This is the old Mary Poppins’ principle: “In any job that must be done, there is an element of fun. Find the fun, and snap, the job’s a game.” The point is that we can all benefit from incorporating a more playful attitude into anything we do. Remember KISMIF from Episode 4 Permission to Make Life Easier? Keep it Simple, Make it Fun. 

Conclusion

This episode has reminded me of so many ways that I can give myself permission to be more playful, to lower the stakes, to remove pressure and remember not to take life so seriously. Unless it’s about play, because these days I take my play very seriously.

Ep. 5 Permission to Make Decisions

Permission to MAKE DECISIONS

Have you given yourself PERMISSION to MAKE DECISIONS?

Humans make an average of 35,000 remotely conscious decisions a day. If that statistic makes your feel more panicked than empowered, then you are in the right place. Making decisions can be confusing, overwhelming, and even paralyzing. And there are good reasons. This episode discusses six barriers that block us from making decisions and four ways to power through those barriers in order to learn to make decisions like a boss. 

 

Six Barriers to Decision Making

How do you feel about making decisions?  Determined or indecisive? Confident or hesitant? Resolute or wishy-washy?

No matter your past experience with making decisions, you have the ability, starting today, you have the ability to learn how and to practice becoming an effective decision-maker.

The first step is to increase your personal awareness about your decision-making process. Awareness is the first step to change. And don’t criticize yourself. You don’t get positive results in life by thinking negatively.

Here are six barriers that trip you up in the decision-making process: 

  1. LABELING:

    Too often, we make a decision, then wait for the result to decide whether it was a good or bad decision.  If the results turn out well, then we say it was the right decision, but if the results go sour, we say we made the wrong decision. It is harmful and paralyzing to measure our decision based on outcome. It is called OUTcome, because it is OUTside of our control. The truth is that we have to make the best decision we can based on the information we have at the time. We aren’t fortune tellers, so it isn’t fair to judge our present decision based on unpredictable future results.

  2. I DON’T KNOW: Saying “I don’t know” drains our power. We have access to incredible information. It’s better to say, “I am in the process of figuring it out,” or “I am exploring my options,” or even, “I am open to possibilities.”
  3. FEAR: Fear of the future outcome can block us from making a decision in the present. Maybe we’re afraid of failing, or maybe we’re afraid of being wildly successful. More than anything, our brains are afraid of the unknown. Our subconscious loves its comfort zone; it likes to stay right here where everything is familiar, so our subconscious often sabotages us from making a decision that would take us outside our comfort zone. 
  4. OBSTACLES: Our brain wants to avoid obstacles and challenges. In fact, sometimes if we run into a challenge, then our brain tries to tell us that we made the wrong choice. This is not true. Obstacles don’t mean that path is wrong. It means you’re going to have to summon your courage, get a running leap and get through the hurdles.   
  5. UNCHOOSING: Okay. Technically unchoosing is not a word, but it is a real barrier to decision making. This is the challenge that choosing one menu item at a restaurant means “unchoosing” all the other delicious possibilities. The reality of being burdened by options can render making a decision painful or next to impossible.
  6. OVERTHINKING:  Research shows that the prime age for overthinking is between 25 to 37. Overthinking is trying to hard to find the “RIGHT” decision. It’s a paralysis of “I can’t choose this one because maybe a different one is better.” Overthinking is more harmful than beneficial, but there are ways to stop overthinking.

How to Become an Effective Decision-Maker

You can learn to become an effective decision-maker. Here are four simple and effective TOOLS for becoming more confident, self-trusting, and speedy in making decisions.

1.  PERMISSION TO GET OUT OF “I DON’T KNOW”     

    So you don’t know what you want to study in college or do for your career, but sitting in the “I Don’t Know” chair is NOT going to help you figure it out. You don’t discover your favorite flavor of ice cream by never tasting ice cream. An important part of decision-making is exploration and discovery. You may have to get our there and try a lot of things before you DO know what you want. Give yourself permission to get out of “I Don’t Know” and enter “I am exploring options.”

2.  PERMISSION TO LET GO OF THE MYTH OF RIGHT OR WRONG DECISIONS

Life is not a quiz with right or wrong answers. The truth is that you don’t “know” your life path, rather, you “create” your life path, so there are not right or wrong decisions. Certainly there are consequences for every decision, but maybe those consequences will be what you need in order to learn, grow, and become a better person. The process of making decisions create opportunities to progress. Not making decisions makes your life stagnant and stifles growth. So practice making decisions whether it’s painting a wall or re-arranging the furniture. 

3.   PERMISSION FOR UNLIMITED DECISIONS

Unless you choose the poisoned drink or the tunnel with the fire-breathing dragon (which might be the final decision you ever make)  few decisions are ever final. Very few decision are life or death. This is good news. Make the best decision you can today, and you can make a new decision later. Trust that you have the intelligence and ability to manage the consequences of your decisions.

4.  PERMISSION to OWN YOUR DECISIONS 

It’s tempting to choose your spot of grass, then stare longingly at the green grass in the other field. The truth is that every field has spots of lush green and spots of wilted, dead, sour grass. You notice your own wilted patches more because you are closer, but the other field has dead spots, too. 

 

 




 

Ep. 3 The Power of Permission Part 1

Power Permission

The Power of Giving Yourself Permission

Have you given yourself permission to do what you love? Often we think we need outside permission before we can pursue a goal or passion. Sometimes we think that other people know better what we can do. That’s not true! No one knows your passions and desires better than you, and no one needs to give you permission to go for your dreams.

Other Places We Get Permission

Going for our dreams without external endorsement can be scary, so sometimes we wait for life to let us know it’s okay to move ahead. We get default permission from three sources:

 
  1. Seeing or Hearing Someone Else Do It: I always felt guilty for taking a nap during the day until I read that Stephen Covey, the author of 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, loved to take power naps any time, any place, including on the floor of trains. I also felt embarrassed for my mismatched collection of partially-filled notebook diaries until I saw J.K. Rowling’s haphazard collection of papers and notebooks. Sometimes knowing that we’re not crazy and not alone gives us permission to be true to ourself. 
  2. Accident, Illness, or Near-Death Experience:  This is the “Live Like You’re Dying” paradigm. It’s not the ideal way to get permission, but it can be very effective. I’m betting that you know someone who really started to live and pursue long-buried dream as a result of an accident, illness, or near-death experience. Before Postpartum Depression and Chronic Illness, I lived in full-out martyr mode. I could not give myself permission to slow down, take a nap, or take care of myself. Getting sick definitely gave me permission to safe-guard my own health, but wouldn’t it have been better if I’d just given myself permission to be healthy in the first place? I think so.
  3. Being Asked to Do It: You might also know aspiring actors, singers, authors, etc, who want someone else to discover their talent and take care of all the career building. Having someone else tell us that we are good enough and ask us to share our talent feels much safer than going it alone. But the truth is that most successful people are self-made. Their permission came from inside. 

I Give Myself Permission To . . .

Part of my journey of healing through depression and chronic illness has been learning to give myself permission to:

  • Take my time
  • Take a Nap
  • Make mistakes
  • Leave thing undone
  • Try
  • Figure things out
  • Play
  • Be an amateur
  • ASK FOR HELP
  • and much more

Next Week: The Power of Permission Part 2

In Episode 4 we will explore the Power of Permission in Specifics areas such as happiness, money, health, decision-making, and doing less. See you next week. mw

Ep. 2 What Do I Want? The Power of Desire

What Do I Want

Do you KNOW what you WANT? Your DESIRES give you POWER.

When did you last ask yourself, “What do I want?” and really listened for your deep-down answer.

Are you ready for something more in your life, but don’t know where to start?

Does your life seem to be full of problems? Are you surrounded by drama? Do you want to resolve these problems and break free of the drama but don’t know how? Then, my friend, this episode is perfect you!

The Universe Gives us More of What We Think About, so DON'T Think about Problems!

Last episode we talked about The Power of I Decide. As humans we are great at knowing what we don’t want, but we’re not so good at knowing what we do want. And guess what? The Universe gives us what we think about most. So if we are constantly thinking about problems, the Universe gives us more problems. Therefore, the solution is to think more about things we want. And before we can think about what we want, we have to know what we want.

Five Barriers Block us from Knowing and Getting What we WANT:

  1. KNOWLEDGE: Often, the biggest problem is that we don’t know what we want. We don’t take the time to ask, “What do I really want?
  2. PERMISSION: We think someone else knows better than we do, so we wait for outside permission. This is living outside of ourselves.
  3. FEELING UNWORTHY: I call this “False Martyr Syndrome” or the belief that we have to sacrifice the things we want most in order to be worthy.
  4. FEAR: Dreaming can be scary. And getting what we want can be as terrifying as the possibility of not getting what we want.
  5. HOW: We don’t go for what we want because we don’t know HOW. Knowing the how is not your job. You job is to figure out the WHAT. Once you know the WHAT, the Universe will manifest the HOW

Your natural wants and desires are what make you Unique. Deepak Chopra explains that desires must be clear in order to be fulfilled. Start today to get clear on what you really want. Explore your deep-down desires. They are your gifts to share with the world. The more you can discover and achieve your heartfelt desires, the better you are able to serve others and find authentic joy.

Ep. 1 The Power of I Decide

You have the power to decide your life.

You Have the Power to Choose Your Life

What if you had a Superpower? What if you could leap over tall buildings? What if you could fly over any obstacle or break through any barrier?

The truth is, we all have a Superpower. We have the Power of I Decide. We have the power to DECIDE our own lives.

God is Your Most Valuable Player

“The all-powerful Universe is on your team. God is your Most Valuable Player, but often we leave God sitting on the bench. Why? Because we have the false believe that life happens to us. God is in your court, but God can’t play for you until you have a game plan.” 

Your Superpower is that YOU get to DECIDE. You get to DESIGN your life. And you have one hundred percent, full-time, around the clock access to the All-Powerful Universe. God can leap over any building and He can get you over it, too.

Your Brain Will Resist

When your brain resists this belief, when you think: I’m not supposed to be rich, I’m supposed to have trials, I’m supposed to have struggles, life is meant to be hard, remember that GOD gifted you the agency to choose.

We are creators and our human experience is ours to create.

You can create any life that you want for yourself.

You have the power and the right to DECIDE exactly what you want your life to be.

This podcast will help you gain the Knowledge and Power to create your BEST life.

Ep. 0 Intro: Is This Podcast Right for You?

Power Principles Podcast

Why I Created the Power Principles Podcast

At age 31 I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, an autoimmune disease (Hashimoto’s Thyroid), and a chronic illness (Epstein Barr). This podcast is a collection of the principles I’ve learned about healing my heart, mind, and body. 

With those diagnoses, I was afraid that I would forever be a burden to my husband and an unfit mother to my children. I had no energy. I couldn’t drive. My daily tasks like changing a diaper, making a sandwich, or sorting the mail required Herculean effort. I began to study everything I could about health, and I am excited to share what I’ve learned with you. 

How Do You Know if Your in the Right Place

  • You feel stuck in a rut
  • You need clarity about how to move forward in life.
  • You seek healing from depression, anxiety, autoimmune disease, or any chronic illness.
  • You are navigating a life transition: marriage, divorce, death, birth, children starting school, children leaving home, starting a career, retiring.
  • You struggle with confusion and making decisions.
  • Your life is disrupted by emotional outbursts, fights, overwhelming anger, fear, or discontent.
  • You desire to experience greater passion, purpose, and fulfillment in your life.

The Power Principles

When you feel stuck (like I did) then you need two things in order to move forward. First, you need knowledge of what to do and second, you need the power to make it happen. When you want to drive somewhere in your car,  you need 1) knowledge of how to operate a car and 2) fuel to power the vehicle.

Each episode of this podcast teaches a power principle to educate and energize your life. By listening, you will gain the knowledge and power to elevate your life to the next level. 

Welcome! You are in the right place. This podcast is for YOU! mw

Abundance at Christmas

Abundance at Christmas

Do you feel abundance at Christmas? Or does December leave you feeling there’s just not enough time, money, energy, or goodwill?

Maybe you could use a new brain filter.

The human brain defaults to using a filter of lack and limitation, but you can CHOOSE to replace lack and limitation with ABUNDANCE. A simple mindset change might be the key to your best Holidays ever.

Join Maleah Warner for this December bonus episode of “Power Principles.”

Inviting Jesus into Our Lives

Talk given by Maleah Warner at the American Fork Tabernacle in December 2018 called “Inviting the Savior Into Our Lives Every Day.”

The cruel irony of having depression is that at a time when I needed God the most, I couldn’t feel His spirit. I felt a literal door blocking me from heaven. Through my struggle, I learned how to open the door and invite the Savior’s healing influence into my life.

Our brain and our mind are not the same thing. Our brain is a physical organ wired for survival instinct, which means it will look for problems, scan for danger, and tend to be negative.

Our mind is our higher intelligence. Our intelligence has always existed and is linked to the omniscient power of the Universe. When we feel blocked from this omniscient presence, the problem is almost always our brain.

Learning to get out of “caveman brain mode” and access our higher thoughts opens the door to God’s presence and allows the healing influence of Jesus’ atonement to enter our lives.

All of our feelings and emotions are a result of our thoughts and we choose our thoughts. Thoughts are the seeds of creation. We choose which thoughts to plant and therefore determine the results of our harvest. 

This is repentance: a literal “change of mind” and a transforming “change of heart.”