If you see my head rolling down your street, it’s not the gory end of our Halloween story, it’s that I’ve lost my grip. Not my grip on reality – my grip on my head.
I feel like a dough-kneading kitchen mixer spinning lumpily close to the edge of the counter, facing the prospects of plummeting over the edge and dangling by my electrical cord inches above the tile.
I feel like a barreling merry-go-round throwing off sweaty-handed third graders.
I’m a top-load washer with too many bath towels.
I’m not sick, just uncommonly dizzy.
I don’t have a cough, sore throat, stuffy nose, stomach ache, or fever.
But today my neck can’t support the weight of my head.
When did my cerebral cortex put on so many pounds?
Is it a virus?
Is it my thyroid?
Is it all in my head?
Please, send help.
Is there a doctor on the web?